How to Talk to Your Partner about IVF and Infertility?

20th January 2022

Infertility refers to the inability to conceive a healthy child. Health experts do not diagnose infertility until a man or a woman has tried to conceive and failed.

Following a series of various diagnostic services to figure out the reason behind the inability to conceive, a doctor may prescribe one of the assisted reproductive technologies like IVF to boost the possibility of conception.

And if you are one of those who are experiencing this ailment, then you know that it’s a pain that you have to experience alone.

Dealing with infertility can be wearisome, both physically and mentally. One way to overcome such negativity is to start a conversation about your problems and IVF treatment.

In addition, Covid-19 infused lockdown has led to an increase in several mental and emotional problems. This makes it even more necessary for you to share the concerns of your partner if he/she is going through infertility.

However, it can be difficult to discuss your emotions with your friends and family members, especially your partner.

In this blog post, we have offered a few tips on how to approach your partner and offer him/her support during this difficult time.

1. Begin with open-ended questions:

Your conversation must be authentic and vulnerable, and that should begin with intentional questions.

Start with “how”, “what”, “when”, etc. and take some moments to process your answers before sharing.

Being intentional about your answer will be helpful to establish a healthy and vulnerable conversation.

Repeat what your partner says to let him/her know that you are fully attentive and accept what he/she is conveying. This also makes your partner hear himself/herself and correct any overstated or misunderstood statements.

2. Ask what makes your partner feel better:

Gently try to convince your partner that you are not a mind-reader and must convey his/her true emotions to you.

Then follow up later on. Ask again the next day. You might feel its better not to say anything, but remember,it’s the support and care that will make your partner feel much better.

However, don’t try to “fix” his/her emotions or concerns. This might deduce that you are trying to take over, which, in turn, may boost his/her sense of helplessness and frustration rather than lessen it.

3. Enable space for negative emotions:

Don’t try to minimise or sugar-coat negative emotions displayed by your partner. Let your partner share the pain he/she carries openly.

For healthy conversations to happen, both of you need to make room for each other’s concerns, emotions and expectations.

Even if you don’t agree, you must still share your perspective. It may be tempting at the moment, but over time, your partner will immensely benefit from honest sharing.

4. Accompany on doctor’s visits:

While your partner may be the one suffering from infertility, it’s your problem too. Accompanying your partner lets him/her know that you know it.

This lets you review what the doctor said and convey the information to the doctor that your partner may find difficult.

5. Help your partner to unwind:

IVF can be overwhelming, which makes it crucial to find simple strategies and activities that can assist your partner to alleviate stress.

IVF brings stress, such as the cost of the treatment and whether that expense would be worthwhile.

Encourage your partner to practice meditation, yoga, etc. and help him/her to manage his/her anxieties properly.

6. Don’t do something your partner can’t do:

If your partner is pregnant, don’t consume alcohol in front of her, eat high-calorie food, use the sauna, or do formidable exercise.

Doing so would make your partner look at you as a mean and uncaring husband. She might say its okay but that won’t really be the case.

Final words

If your partner is suffering from infertility, especially in the times of Covid, where stress and several other problems might augment his/her concerns, make yourself the support system on which he/she can lean on.

The tips mentioned in this post reflect the same tone – lend an ear to your partner. Be attentive to your partner and try to understand what he/she is trying to convey.

During this time, there’s no right or wrong, and your partner may process this pain in different ways. Just allow space for your partner and make yourself an integral part of this journey.


Though all attempts are made to provide correct information on the subject, inadvertent & typographical errors arising out of manual intervention cannot be ruled out. It is requested to bring any such discrepancies to the notice of the blogger for correction.

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